I have wanted to do a post on this for a long time but have been a bit apprehensive as I don’t want to badmouth anyone as that is not what my blog is about. However, I think it is so important to speak about the effect on your mental health that arises from your working environment. I am in no way badmouthing any person as I would like to thank them as it has helped me become a stronger person and know when I need to take a stand for myself.
As someone who has chosen that going to university is not an option for me right now (or ever, who knows) I naturally went into a full time work position within a recruitment company.
There are so many recruitment vacancies that seem attractive to a school leaver. They tend to be young environments, with career progression and typically good pay. And they may be an amazing job for some people, but not me. I think I was unlucky in the sense that I just went to the wrong company and it tarnished my view on the industry as a whole.
This, if you couldn’t tell, is the avenue I went down as my first “real” job. Though this post may seem negative towards this job, I do not regret this over the time I worked in this position it helped me develop skills I didn’t have prior to this. I also thank those I interacted with during my time at this company as I learned A LOT that I will take through life.
However, I cannot stress how unhappy it made me. I changed in myself, was crying every day, I lost myself for a while, I was in a dark place. It was not a positive working environment for myself. I became distracted and just generally didn’t want to be there because of how I was made to feel by the whole situation.
I am not generalising recruitment companies at all as I know there are some amazing ones out there that friends from my old company now work for and love. I am also not shitting all over my last company as I did have some good times there and have made friends for life. But I am using this as a way for contrasting how by changing a simple thing of where you work you can honestly see such an improvement in your mental health.
My friends and family can vouch for the fact I turned into a shadow of myself over the period of time I worked here. I was so drained and tired of trying to prove myself to certain people I did not have any energy left for even basic communication by the time I got home. I just wanted to be alone.
As I said I was crying all the time and constantly worrying about being told off I became an actual nervous wreck. This shouldn’t be the case. I understand within roles you have expectations to meet but this went beyond the role itself. It felt personal. Whether it was or not that is the place I was in.
Anyway, moving on, I took time out and re-evaluated everything that I needed from my next job and began slowly looking.
I looked at every avenue possible, from staying in recruitment all the way to working within the police. I decided that, unlike when I accepted my last role, taking the first offer that come my way, I’d do my research, be picky and look for the role that suited me. At the end of the day, you need to look after yourself and work is a place you spend majority of your time so you need to enjoy it.
I wrote down some “criteria” if you like of what I’d look for in my next job i.e. duties, general setting and money and decided I wouldn’t settle for less than what I wanted. I couldn’t lose myself like that again.
I am now in a great job, surrounded by lovely people and actually have the energy to have a life outside of work. I work within a property developer dealing with maintenance issues and am constantly doing something. It is nice to feel like you are apart of a team getting things done rather than trying to complete the impossible.
So many people said to me when I was in my last job that I made a massive mistake not going to university and that was why I was unhappy. I don’t believe that to be the case at all. I think I was somewhere that didn’t work for me and that personally I didn’t sit well there which is no ones fault. It was a learning curve.
Now I leave work knowing I am recognised for the hard work that I put in and do not dread getting up the next morning. I mean I’d love a lay in, in the morning, but wouldn’t we all haha!
I no longer clock watch all day and am actually enjoying the work that I do so time just flies by.
I genuinely feel happy and that is something I thought I’d never achieve. I was led to believe that this was what the working life was and thought I’d just have to get used to it. But in hindsight I can see that working doesn’t mean you are required to feel unhappy at all.
I would urge anyone who is unhappy to take the plunge and find something you enjoy doing. I never thought I’d find myself where I am but I wouldn’t change it.
I was bitter for a while about how I was feeling, blaming people for things that had happened and consequently the way I felt, but I just think that it wasn’t for me and it got on top. I wouldn’t say I was incapable of the job itself, I would say I was incapable of working in the environment I found myself.
If you are happy at work then go you, crack on! But if you’re not, don’t settle because eventually it will catch up on you, like it did to me.
This is another little story about how shit was thrown my way and I turned it around and another example of how you can do this too.
Take The Plunge.
Do Not Settle.