Who we are is very heavily based on how our parents raised us and it was so hard to select 5 things that my mum (and dad ofcourse) had taught me. Of course I was taught how to walk, talk, eat, read, write. But the things I’ve wrote about in my post are not physical things I was taught to do, but things that are inside my brain that I will carry with me until my time here is over by the amazing woman herself. I love you mum, thank you.
I feel like this is a very basic trait that most children are taught by their parents. However, through all my mum’s life experiences, not only as an adult but growing up too, she was never bitter. She has the purest heart I have ever known. Although, we both have the exact same temper, beneath that she was the kindest of all. She taught me to treat others how I would expect to be treated and to expect that back if I didn’t treat someone nicely. She taught me to take the rough with the smooth but never become resentful or jealous. There is one thing to appear kind and another to have a kind soul.
Take no nonsense from anyone
On the flip side, as I mentioned earlier we both have terribly fiery tempers, I wasn’t taught this as such I just think it is a part of who I am. I was always taught that life isn’t going to be easy and you have to hold your own otherwise people will walk all over you. I was taught to speak up if I didn’t agree with something, never stay quiet for the peace of others. If someone hits you back, hit them back ten times harder, haha (probably not the best thing to promote but it is something I carry with me). I have always been taught to never apologise unless I truly am sorry. There is nothing worse than a half-hearted apology. It is almost 100% certain you will wrong someone at some stage in life at any sort of degree but never say sorry unless you are actually remorseful otherwise your word becomes empty. Your word is the strongest thing you can give someone and thanks to my parents no one can ever dispute that with me.
This is slightly different to every other part of this blog post. This is something I learnt myself from my mother’s life through reflection. Although my mum was very happy with her life, having her little family and a happy home her time sadly was cut short in this world. I remember a conversation I had with my mum as it was a long term dream of hers to go to New York with my dad. They never got to go sadly as life got in the way. I feel like life getting in the way is a term so many people use as a reason for not doing things. I want to live my life to the fullest I can, I want to go on crazy holidays, see crazy places. I’m not so much (maybe a little bit) talking about partying, but seeing the amazing sights that the Earth has to offer. Due to my mum’s illness we never went on a holiday abroad as a family of four. That is no one’s fault, we had amazing holidays in England. However, the earlier mentioned conversation I had with my mum has really stuck with me. She had a painting in our house of New York and we always used to talk about it. That – of course – is one place I feel I need to go, although my mum never went I feel like it would help me feel a little closer to her again. As if I am carrying on her life in my shoes. My new year’s resolution this year was to be more impulsive with travelling, living with anxiety has made this a little harder than I first anticipated. But, so far I have been on two amazing holidays and have one more booked. I am hoping to book some very last minute weekends away before the year is over, however I am a control freak and love planning everything so I think that’ll be a real challenge for me. But I will give it a good go!
Follow your passion
I was taught to grab things I love and run with them. Yesterday I had one of those Facebook memory notifications that showed me I started my first ever blog 5 years ago. I remember sitting on my sofa with mum and talking about how it would be a dream to do that for a living. We were talking about this as my mum actually wanted to start a blog herself for women living with cancer, making a community of some sort. As we were talking about it, I remember her saying “Well why don’t you start a blog then now?”. So I did. My first blog was called “She Wears Pastel” as this was in the midst of my Tumblr obsession, but everyone has to start somewhere right? I kept it up for a while however I didn’t really have a passion for what I was writing about, fashion. Although I have a keen interest in fashion, writing lengthy blog posts about dresses wasn’t my kind of thing. I feel like as time has passed though I have found my calling in helping others. It is a hobby of mine that I do on the side now, yet I get so much release and happiness from writing blog posts and seeing my reader’s responses. Although I have been a bit rubbish recently I hope people still enjoy reading them and I don’t see it being something I ever stop doing.
Don’t worry about what others are doing
It is very easy in this day and age, especially with social media to become so wrapped up in other people’s lives you lose sight of your own path. I have always been reminded in my upbringing that you shouldn’t focus on what you haven’t got and spend more time focussing on the things that you do have. Who cares if the next person has a conventionally “better” life than you, they are probably looking at you wishing they had something you do. Something you are probably taking for granted as you are spending so much time focussing on what is absent. It is something subconscious that we all do but my mother taught me through our family situation that all you need is some food on the table, a roof over your head and a whole lot of love, if you have this you will be okay.
I hope you enjoy this blog post and hopefully it can stick with you and teach you something. Life isn’t something to be taken so seriously. People will come and go. If you are true to yourself and go through life with the right mind set it will be impossible for you to go without achieving some amazing things.
I cannot wait to experience what is in store for me, see amazing places around the world and focus on myself all whilst having my mum with me in spirit.