As it is World Mental Health Day today I felt it was only right that I wrote something to highlight the importance of talking out (and probs oversharing again lol). I may repeat things in this post that you have already read/know but some may not and that is just as important, so that everyone knows they are not alone. I have always been an over sharer and it is probably why I have kept up blogging for so long. I find such peace in typing away and getting all my feelings onto one page, some of what I write may come across as a rant but it really is just my pure passion for what I am saying. But I haven’t always had this release. There has been a time in my life where I heavily relied on medication to get through the day. I have spoken to some recently who see this as ‘the easy way out for themselves’ and I couldn’t disagree more. Take the help in which you need, whatever that may be.
Something I haven’t ever addressed before regarding myself is suicidal thoughts and self-harm. They are something I have had a past with and something, I am not sure why, I guess those closest to me didn’t even know this about me. It is a card that I have always kept very close to my chest I haven’t even told my nearest and dearest this. Thankfully I was able to notice this myself and get myself the help I needed before it spiralled out of control, though I did lose my way for a while. To be completely clear I have been lucky enough to move past these thoughts for many years now. However, for some this may not be the case and you may be in that dark rut that I was in for so long. I am sharing this with you because I want you to see, people tell you what they want to tell you. I guess what I am trying to say is though I have been completely transparent with my story this far, there have been things I have held back from the darkest, lowest points of my life, hopefully one day I will be able to share them with you in more detail when I am ready.
As you can tell from the erratic writing of this post it is something I am not completely sure how to articulate.
I think it is so mad that our brains work in the way they do. They can be your best friend, your only friend and also your worst enemy. One thing I have come to learn is you cannot rely upon others for sole support and happiness, this begins from within. From looking at myself and others around me who have suffered with mental health issues it is very apparent in my opinion that if you do not have the drive to want to get better you will not. No one is coming to ‘save’ you if you don’t want to save yourself. I have said it and will continue to say it time and time again, you cannot save someone who doesn’t want to be saved.
That being said, it is very important to set yourself up with caring people around you. Having a strong support system will have a naturally positive impact on your mental health without you realising. They may not be able to take away your hurt but they can certainly help you manage it in a rational way. As you become more aware of your support system you will notice the dead weight you may have been carrying for a long time. It is important to acknowledge people who do not want the best for you or simply do not have the time for the level of friendship you require. This is not necessarily a bad reflection of them but also you need to be bold enough to acknowledge you do not need people who do not need you.
I also think that as there has been a rise with exposure on mental health on all aspects of the media it has become apparent there is definitely an element of “trendiness” with having a mental illness. Whilst I think it is amazing more people are coming forward and accepting they may suffer with their mental health there are also some people who jump on the bandwagon. It is not “cool” to have depression etc, it won’t make you fit in more or have higher ratings from people, they are very real illnesses which affect people’s day to day lives. You will notice many many people are posting about World Mental Health Day today, this is phenomenal that there is such a focus but many people claim to understand what it means to “be supportive” or understand “mental illness” when really and truly if we’re all being completely honest, no one is an expert, not even experts are 100% in the know about everything. There are probably illnesses and disorders we aren’t even aware of yet.
World Mental Health Day is one day a year for everyone to think about but for people with mental health issues you do not need a reminder. It is so important for awareness but I urge everyone to actively think about the impact of actions and be mindful of mental illness 365 days a year and not just on the 10th October.
As always, if you need a shoulder to lean on or a chat to get things off your chest, feel free to message me and I will always be there.