For my next post I was racking my brains on what I could write about for ages. I then was pushed into thinking about the real reasons I started my blog and in basic terms it was to give myself a purpose of some sort. When dealing with depression and anxiety it is hard to feel like you have a purpose for anything as you become so withdrawn and disinterested in everything. Everyone deals with things differently, some throw themselves into work, some can’t leave the house and tidy, some turn to religion but for me I created this blog.
I wanted this to be something I can look back on and maybe one day my children can look back on for advice and to see not everyone’s journeys are straight cut. I also wanted it to be a place young people can see that not everything is about the next party or being happy all the time. There is such a stigma around young people and having to be happy all of the time. I know this expectation is starting to lower with the exposure of mental health in young people by the tireless efforts of charities, schools, influencers and just general people sharing their experiences online with each other. I have had some chats with some other young people and we have agreed that by speaking about these experiences that make you feel so alienated from those around you it gives you some kind of comfort that you are normal and you are not alone.
I listened to a podcast last week titled the Power of Positivity by Daniel O’Reilly (Dapper Laughs) and it hit so close to home. In his first episode he talks about the loss of his dad and how after losing his way for a while through drink and drugs he needed something positive to help channel his grief. Although I didn’t go through this specifically I completely related to the channelling of energy. If you are grieving, you are healing but if you are just in a pit of sadness you are stuck there. I personally believe that you have to actively decide that you will not let your experiences define you before you can begin the healing process. Do not get me wrong, there are some days I wake up and I hate the world and I think it is the most awful place to be, but these days are becoming further and further apart. Most days I see what’s around me at face value, I have begun to be grateful for the little things. In books and films you see how characters are often described as strolling through a great, green American park with a hot coffee, smiling to everyone they pass and for me that’s often quite cringy. But of recent I have begun to pick up on the little things, the smells, the noises, the weather and be grateful for this. 4 years ago I could never have imagined of life being this simplistic. I honestly believe it is due to my energy being channelled into something positive and I thank you for reading every post I write as it gives me the momentum to carry on. It isn’t all about the reads that each post gets but it does give you a little fire inside that gives you the stronger urge to carry on.
I have put together a list of ideas of what you could channel your energy into:
– Create a blog/write on paper
– Go to the gym (I mean this wouldn’t be my first choice)
– Join a club of some sort, dance, boxing, walking
– Help others that have experienced similar to you
– Building on the above, do some charity work
– Upkeep of your self-care
Understanding your trauma is so important too, I would never tell anyone not to be sad at all because only god knows you deserve your time to feel sad. But when you have started the healing process I would advise looking back on what you have gone through and understanding you have no control over these things that have happened. You cannot control the universe and slowly but surely pick out positives that you can take from this experience. They may not be obvious, for example in my case, losing my mum, some may say how are there any positives in this? And trust me so did I, it took me a very long time to see any form of positive lessons. But I have become a strong woman who is very much in touch with her feelings and due to this I am now able to communicate that with my blog and furthermore, you.
Please feel free to message me.